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" But, sadly, a few months later, your conversation changed to, "I can't believe he turned out to be so emotionally unavailable, and commitment-phobic." There are people who chronically meet and date individuals who, at first, seem so perfect for a warm, loving relationship. it's so easy to become intoxicated during that early infatuation stage when you meet someone who fits your pictures and seems like the perfect match. Our deep love for them can put us in denial of the fact that they are unavailable for an intimate, close relationship with us.

But when those same "in love" people take off their rose colored glasses, they realize the person they thought was Mr. ("He's so good-looking," or "What a gorgeous woman! If a person is serious about finding an emotionally available person for a committed partnership, there are whole categories of people who should be avoided: people living in another state, those who are still married or in love with someone else, and people with addictions - be it workaholics or drug addicts.

Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!

Dear Sara, We all make judgments based on our own experience.

Unfortunately, he is married (separated) and getting divorced.

There has been an incredible amount of transparency regarding this – the issue, however, is that in the course of our relationship, there has been no real progress to go through with the divorce.

Needless to say, my anxiety and uncertainty about our relationship heightened and caused doubt.

I ended up becoming THAT girl (the one who needs too much reassurance) out as a result and we have decided to take a break.

In fact, I pity any man who dated me when I was separated; I was messed up, and didn’t even know it!The "booby prize" in life is trying to understand or change the behavior of an emotionally unavailable person.(Only they can change themselves.) People can be for both healthy and unhealthy reasons.They still live together (sleeping in separate rooms).His wife knows all about me, but he went away with her to see her family (a “goodbye” type of situation) during my birthday weekend.




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