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These are 'I can't', 'I deserve', 'I dream', 'I expect' and 'I know'.

It's good to do all of those things from time to time, but when it comes to a relationship these five things can really stop you attracting the right person into your life,' Ms Ward said.

Data are collected on men and women inflicting and sustaining psychological abuse in heterosexual college dating relationships.

Thousands of Australian singles are pulling out all the stops to try and find 'the one'.

'When they are preventing you because you are holding people responsible for the things that have happened to you in the past, it's an unrealistic expectation of a new person,' Louanne explained.'Everybody gets to come in with a clean slate.

Most of the research has been restricted to college students for whom dating anxiety - among both men and women - is fairly common.

For instance, 31 percent of 3,800 randomly selected undergraduates at the University of Arizona rated themselves ''somewhat'' or ''very'' anxious about dating, according to Hal Arkowitz, an associate professor of psychology at the school.

James Curran, associate professor of psychiatry at Brown University, reports that dating anxiety was the leading reason why students he studied at the University of Indiana sought counseling.

Using the case-study of pick-up artistry which is compared to interviews with other men who date women, this book analyses how the men deal with conflicting ideas borne out of living in an age when both hegemonic (harder, historic) and inclusive (softer, modern) masculinities co-exist.

It asks whether men acknowledge their own insecurities or whether they focus on perceived external triggers, such as female culpability as a means of ignoring their own concerns, or, whether men respond to insecurities by focusing on an active process of overcoming them.

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