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Avoid piling on self-deprecating opinions like “This means I’m not worth loving,” or “Now I’ll never find someone to love,” or “I must not be very attractive.” These messages are not only untrue, but they can also generate even more pain than the loss of the person you cared about. When a breakup happens, that doesn’t mean you are flawed, nor does it mean you’ve failed. And if it’s not, it isn’t a statement about you at all.

In fact, if you find yourself more upset about what this breakup “says about you” than about the loss of the person you cared about, you are clearly heaping on self-condemnation and it’s time to alter your self-talk, even if that means seeking therapy to help you embrace a positive perception. It simply means the relationship ran its course, and it’s better to discover that while dating than after a trip down the aisle. Typically, breakups are more about a clash in vision than they are about any one person.

In each case, we need to ask questions about why the author went to this particular Old Testament verse or verses to explain or defend their point.

Some people think that they feel rejected, but actually rejection is not a feeling.

If you think about your week, you likely endure rejection quite often. Your barista informs you that they’re all out of your favorite drink.

Your boss turns down your request to spend a week in Provincetown.

Embracing your emotions is healthy, however obsessing over them is not.

Instead, you wait for the light to turn green, you order your second favorite drink, and you fly down for just the weekend to Provincetown.

From professional to friendly to romantic rejection, they all just plain hurt.

However, rather than allowing yourself to marinate in your bruised ego and self-pity, I suggest you celebrate the rejection.

We didn’t get the job that we wanted, our bid on that beautiful was denied, and of course, that muscular well-endowed guy shot down our advances. We usually can rationalize that other applicants were better qualified and other bids were higher than ours for the condo.

When it comes to dealing with dating rejection, we pile on the negative reasons without being rational whatsoever.

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